Twinsight 36 of 50: Reclaim Joy

I once heard Nancy Ortberg tell a story about how we can get off course in life sometimes. She and her family were in line to get ice cream cones—I believe it was on the Santa Monica pier—and who else happened to be in line but Tom Cruise. She was rather taken with him (what a smile!), and she said that her husband had the same initial reaction about Tom that every man has. He’s short. After they got through the line, Nancy couldn’t figure out what she’d done with the ice cream cone that she’d just bought. Tom turned to her and said, “Hey lady, it’s in your purse.”

Ah, how easily we can be distracted and hardly remember what we set out to do. That particular distraction was harmless, and the only repercussions were a little embarrassment, a fun story to tell, and a sticky purse. So no big deal. And other distractions can actually be good—like when you’re redirecting a toddler away from a tantrum or sitting by the bedside of a sick friend and talking about the Vikings. (Oh wait! No, that would make it worse!) But many distractions - especially very real, complex ones - can deter us from living the vibrant, difference-making lives that we desire, and often rob us of our joy in the present moment. And it can be even more challenging during the holidays.

When I asked the following questions via virtual and real live conversations, here’s what I heard from Angela, Suzanne, Barb, Jane, Fran, Lisa, Kim, Mary, Darsi and Darci, and have learned in my own experience.

What gets in the way of having joy in my life?  

• Living on the verge of exhaustion and having no margin with an ever-expanding to-do list.
• Trying to please everyone else.
• Not having a thankful attitude.
• My own negative internal messaging.
• Worrying about the economy, finances and work pressures and the swirling negativity.
• Saying yes when I should say no.
• Not having time for the really meaningful things in life.
• Seeing no way out of my challenging life circumstances, and regretting what got me here.
• Being lured into keeping up on the lives of acquaintances and celebrities, and not measuring up. 
• Having nagging "what if" fears about the people I love most.
• Technology continually ringing, beeping, chirping, pinging, or chiming for my attention.
• The expectation that I’ll respond instantaneously to any of the above noises.
• Spending a lot of time around someone who saps the life out of me.  
• Not trusting that God will listen and respond in the way I think He should.

I think that’s a long enough list! Can you relate to one or more of them? I sure can. Here are some ideas that I gathered for turning those joy-sucking distractions around.

How can I reclaim my joy?

• Resolve to make sure that none of the distractions listed above run my life.
• Look for the best in others and my circumstances. In her battle with cancer, my friend, Nancy, is an inspiring example of having a positive spirit.
• Seek God at a deeper level. Pray. And look around me for what God is doing and join Him.
• Do something that will bring joy to someone else.
• Take time to do something I love - like grabbing a cup of coffee with a friend, cross-country skiing, scheming a surprise party, or reading a good book. (BTW, our book club is reading Unbroken right now. Amazing story of resiliency.)
• Adjust my expectations. God promises us many things as we trust Him—His continual presence, joy and peace even in the challenges of life, His sovereignty in the world, salvation—but not a perfect life on earth.
• Click less. Or even declare email bankruptcy. Bold, I know.
• Believe in and work for something bigger than myself.
• Get help from a life coach or a therapist. Or vent to a close friend.
• Focus on what’s most important. Let go of the rest.
• Stop thinking about achieving balance and start thinking about being in the moment.
• Choose to live in a place of thankfulness.
 

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