Twinsight 44 of 50: Ask Yourself, "What Would Nancy Do?"

Nancy Quinnell: 1960 - 2012

i'm in abbott. you could visit. new tough info. short on time in the world.

That's the text I received from my friend, Nancy, from the hospital a week ago Thursday (1/5 @ 10:45 am). We had planned to have lunch the next day at the Good Earth, the only place we ever had lunch. I'm thinking we had met there about 100 times (25 years x 4 times a year...yeah, that's about right). We only rescheduled under extreme circumstances. And this was really extreme. Nancy was dying after only a little over a year of battling cancer. Her body started rapidly failing and her amazing family surrounded her to say their goodbyes. She died the next day.

I had no idea how hard it would be to lose such a dear friend, particularly the human Energizer bunny who never met a challenge that she didn't take on with gusto. I hope heaven was prepared because I expect she's rockin' the heavenly places. Now I'm reminded of her at every turn - when I looked at the book on my night stand (which was one of 70+ books that our book club of four couples has read together...or at least skimmed during hectic months), when I made roasted sweet potatoes last night (which she turned me on to), when I grabbed spices (which she alphabetized), when I saw someone's bald head (which she took in stride), when we were deciding to go to the later church service (which she said was for slackers), and when our dog, Pabby, licked the tears from my face after I heard she had died (which reminded me of the way she always cupped his face in her hands and said, "Oh Pabs").

Right now it's all very raw - for her family as well as the hundreds of us who loved her. I'm so grateful for all the great memories I have of her. Here are just a few.

1998: Book club friends with kids swimming at the Siemons -
Joyce, Dawn, Christina, Caroline, Grace, me, Chloe, Nancy & Abby

1999: Photo for Tastemakers column in the Star Tribune...they selected Nancy's Red Snapper recipe to feature -
Karen, me, Nancy & Joyce

2008: Nancy loving their Lake Vermilion cabin when our whole group and our families stayed there for a weekend

2008: Celebrating Nancy & Tim's 25th anniversary - Nancy, Tim & Joyce (front); Scott, Steve, me, Karen & Jay (back)

2009: Celebrating Christina's Sweet 16 with our daughters (a book club tradition) -
Abby, Nancy, Christina, Karen, me, Leah & Chloe

2010: Celebrating Nancy's 50th - Joyce, me, Karen & Nancy

2011: Celebrating my 50th - Nancy, Tim, me, Scott, Steve, Jay & Karen

I’ve been thinking about what Nancy would do if our roles were reversed… and what she would say to all of us about how to spend the limited time we have on earth. Here’s what I think she’d say:

·    Love People, Animals and the Earth. Do something in your community that helps someone else. Be an advocate. Never compare yourself to others. Surround yourself with humans and critters of all shapes and sizes who can make you better every day. Enjoy making flavorful, healthy food with them and for them. Do your part for the environment by recycling and reusing perfectly good stuff.

·    Just Do It, For Crying Out Loud. Live life to the fullest. Push yourself to be your best. Don’t spin your wheels. Be decisive. Get to the heart of the matter and act on it. Create efficient systems so you waste as little time as possible. Stay in shape. Use failures to improve. Take the lead when leadership is needed. Get on the solution side. Focus on what you can impact. Find work-a-rounds to barriers.

·    Live Your Values. Start by knowing God and trusting that He will be there in the best and worst of circumstances. Fight for what’s right, even if it’s not popular. Do everything with integrity. Don’t think of yourself as better than anyone else. Stay positive. Keep the faith. Understand that in the end, that’s all that matters.

Oh, Nancy Carol. You've left a tall order. You packed more life into 50 years than most of us could into 100. We'll see each other again in eternity. In the meantime, your earthly legacy will inspire me every day.

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