Twinsight 32 of 50: Process Decisions with Purpose

Chloe and Heather...always ready to act out any emotion or scenario!

Decisions, decisions, decisions.

Sometimes it's invigorating to make decisions throughout the day that move you in the right direction and make you feel like life's bumping along well. And other times when life is rocky and exhausting, decisions - even the little ones - seem burdensome. Then I wish my mom were just here to make them all for me. And as you're well aware, I'm 50!

For those of us in mid life, decisions might be around what our career paths or detours might look like given this economy...how we spend our never-enough-hours-in-the-day time...how to mend a broken relationship...how to discipline ourselves to stay healthy....how to wisely save and spend our money...how to keep up with the latest technology...how to spend time on what's most important.

For teens and young adults, decisions might be around whom to spend the majority of your face and virtual time with...what activities to participate in....where to go to college...where to find a part-time job...what to pursue as a career....whom to date...how to give back to society...how much to study vs. socialize vs. sleep. I've heard it said that in college you can can get good grades, have a great social life, and get enough sleep. But you can only pick two at a time!

I was talking with our friend, Loria, about how to process a particular decision in my life. And she said that her family uses this simple "FTDL" method in processing decisions. I found the steps extremely helpful, and wanted to share them with you, too. You can write down your answers, or just process them in your head.

• Feel. Take a deep dive into my emotions and own those emotions, even if I feel like I've made a mistake, am confused or hurt, am not proud of them, or don't know the answers. The emotions that keep coming to the surface will be the ones that are most honest and real. Emotions are as real as thoughts, and can distract or even paralyze us from moving on in life if we don't deal with them. Depending on the situation, this step might take a few minutes or months. Ugh, right?
• Think. What are the logical facts? And what am I thinking about the situation? What's my rational side saying? It may be completely opposite of your feelings about the situation, and that's okay. It's helpful to process what you're thinking so you can discover what's congruent with and different from your feelings. You can switch the order of feeling and thinking, but I find that sometimes the feelings are really shaping my decision making under the surface so it helps to start by identifying them.
• Do. Based on my feelings and thoughts, what should I do? What action do I believe God is leading me to take - maybe take a small step or make a big decision or something in between? Some people never take action, but I, for one, need to caution myself to not act rashly and be okay with living in the gray areas while I process.
• Learn. What did I learn from the situation? Am I completely done with it and ready to move on, or do I need to start with feelings and take a fresh look at it?

Try it. See what you feel and think. Move to what you can do about it and learn from it.

This process really helped me this past week, and hope it is helpful for you, too.

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