Twinsight 15 of 50: Be Your Best You

August 26, 1993, and June 12, 2011, and were two of the most memorable days of my life. They were both days on which people came around us to celebrate our daughter, Leah. There is something that makes my heart just about burst with joy when other people take time to get to know our girls, and love them for who they are. I want to do that for others as well.

On that day in 1993, Leah arrived to us from South Korea via the Northwest Airlines stork at the Minneapolis St. Paul airport during the days when non-ticketed passengers could go to the gate. As you can see at the beginning of the video below, family members and friends surrounded us as we received her into our arms for the first time. She had a calm and serene spirit about her that has continued to this day.

Sometimes people will ask if we regret not having a birth child…you know, someone who has our genes. I actually have no regrets because without our genes, our children have the chance to be beautiful and smart in things like physics. And low and behold, she’s both. She’s not a stereotypical 18 year old. She has a deep, quiet strength, and is like a “horse whisperer” with animals and special needs kids. She also loves the adventure of experiencing a wide range of places in the world, and has a responsible head on her shoulders. She carefully guards her heart, and is a true friend.

A couple of weeks ago, family members and friends (some who were also at the airport in 1993) came around us again to celebrate her graduation from Minnetonka High School. If you've hosted a grad party, you'll get this. It's more work than it appears, unnerving to not know how many people are going to come and if the weather will cooperate, but a ton of fun. At the graduation ceremony a few days earlier, I loved how Principal Dave Adney encouraged the students to be their best for the world. It does make you pause when you think that as an individual, you are the only one impacting the world in a positive way with your unique blend of gifts, abilities and passions. I’m excited to see how Leah will make her corner of the world a better place as she embarks on the next chapter of her life.

Many thanks to the Lighthouse Media guys - Peter, Dan and Steve - for creating this video of photos that span these two dates. Enjoy.

Leah Swenson Grad Video - June 2011

Steve * Chloe * Leah * Jo
Grad Party 6.12.11

Twinsight 14 of 50: Observe and Learn from Dads

Throughout the course of my life, I've had the privilege of being around a lot of great dads. Dads may not typically give as much verbal advice as moms, but you can learn a lot as you observe their behavior. The three outstanding ones whom I've had the opportunity to spend the most time with are my dad, my father-in-law and my husband, and I'd like to share one lesson I've learned from each of them.

From my dad, Bill Hall, I learned that it's important to teach your kids to make decisions and then let them. He was 43 when I was born, and I was an only child, so he sort of treated me like one of the adults. He gave me responsibility at an early age, and taught me through his experiences in running a farming business with his brothers, dealing with the associated risks, and doing everything you could to make high-quality products. In North Dakota, you could drive as early as your feet could reach the pedals and get your official license at age 14, so I was independent pretty early. When I was a junior in high school, I mentioned to my dad that I wasn't sure where to go to college or what to major in. He said, "Well, it's about time you figure that out. And make sure you study something you really like because you'll be spending a lot of time doing it." That was the extent of his advice, which frustrated me at the time, but forced me to look inside and make decisions I could live with. Now when I'm faced with a tough situation - particularly in the business world, I think, "What would Bill Hall do?" I can always stand tall when I do what he would have done.

My dad, Bill Hall

From my father-in-law, Don Swenson, I continue to learn to teach your kids to be lifelong learners. He's an incredibly curious man who is continually learning about areas he's interested in - like health, history, architecture, antiques, clarinets, Sweden - but also learning new things as he meet people and finds out all about them. I love how he cares about others and wants to always learn and grow. The girls have learned a lot from him as he quizzes them to keep them sharp and tells them interesting stories. His perspective on life definitely keeps him young and vibrant.


My father-in-law, Don Swenson, teaching Leah and Chloe to fish

From my husband, Steve Swenson, I've learned to teach your kids to enjoy day-to-day life. Our girls genuinely like hanging out with Steve. He banters with them, watches movies with them, teases them, prays with them, schleps them from point A to point B while singing with them in the car, does chores with them so it's not so much of a burden, participates in their activities, and studies with them. He even empathizes with them. (Two nights ago: "Oh yeah, that is a really cute snapping turtle crossing the road. No, we cannot pick him up but he'll be fine." Next morning: "Oh, I see it...the cute turtle got run over. I'm sure he didn't suffer a bit.") They are blessed to have a great dad, and I'm blessed to learn from him.


My husband, Steve Swenson, with Leah and Chloe





Twinsight 13 of 50: Arrange Life Around What's Most Important

Repeat after me: I can make a difference, but I cannot do it all. I can make a difference, but I cannot do it all.

Assuming that you agree with that mantra, how do we live it out? One way is to follow daily routines to stay grounded which was advice that I shared last week from those of you who gave me input. I'm also continually learning - and also hearing from many of you - that it's critical to arrange life around what's most important. So what does that mean in practical terms?

• Enjoy the Roller Coaster. (It Does Stop.) Picture yourself on the fastest ride you've ever attempted. Exhilarating and unnerving probably, but it did eventually end. If you're in a season that is over-the-top busy as I am, remember that this level of pressure is temporary. The ride does stop moving and you do get to put each foot on the ground once again. Two seasoned moms with young adult children have keen insights. "Things will indeed slow down - not to boredom - but to the point that you have the ability to run your life rather than it running you," writes Dawn. And Roxane reflects, "Sometimes it felt like I just had to hang on tight and go for the ride and enjoy the scenery because it really does go by fast." Envisioning more reasonable-paced times on the horizon gives me fresh energy to enjoy the important ride now.
• Juggle Fewer Balls. For some reason, I can't get it through my head that everything can't be of equal importance at the same time! I'm learning that I need to make sure that the activities I'm juggling are the right ones, which means setting some aside for the time being and being planful about the way I manage our family calendar. Steph writes, "I'm trying to work on saying no or not volunteering for things when the week/month is starting to feel too stressful. Zenbe.com and Google Calendar do a great job of keeping us organized and on the same page."
• Stay Flexible. Just when life is mapped out, a curve ball comes out of nowhere, right? Or what looks fine on the screen or paper is just not working. When I'm feeling overwhelmed and perplexed, I usually panic or fret first (ugh!) but eventually I think through a quick checklist in my mind. Is the barrier primarily intellectual, emotional, physical or spiritual? Then I figure out the most realistic way to adjust - e.g., work from my home office when I have a work challenge and need a quick block of writing time (intellectual), call a friend to get her perspective (emotional), go for a run to clear my mind (physical), or read a Psalm (spiritual). Julie writes, "A finite resource that we all have is time. How we choose to spend it depends on what our priorities are. When I do have some control of my own time at home with too many things to do, I sometimes step back and ask, 'Is this really important right now?' Asking this question helps shift my focus at times. For me, the shift is usually to spending more time with people I care about."
• Involve God. God is not a free vending machine (press button, get requested item). But for some mysterious reason, He desires a relationship with us and is moved when we pray. Sometimes I pray and my circumstances change (right away or over time). And sometimes the circumstances are the same but my heart changes. Either way, it's always a positive outcome. Here's what Bev does to keep life in balance: "Immediately surrender the situation and myself to the Lord Jesus, try to obey the principles that you shared [in earlier blog], pray, pray, pray, and be ready for people who God is prompting me to speak to or help...then count on Him for wisdom and grace for every time of need." Roxane adds that she "...prayed for emotional strength, physical stamina, and peace with the choices we all made" in the course of an intense season of life.
• Give Yourself Grace. I wish I would have ________________. What's in your blank? For me, one thing is volunteered more at school through the years. When I feel a pang of disappointment or guilt about what I haven't done or am missing out on, I write it down along with the circumstances that kept me from doing it at the time, and decide if there's anything that I can do about it now. If so, I do it! If not, toss the paper and try to put it behind me. Steph says, "I think the best thing (and the hardest thing) I do is let myself off the hook once in awhile. No one else will care if the laundry sits in the dryer one more night, the cookies for the party are store bought and not homemade, or that I sent a card from Target and didn't make a crafty one myself."

So here's to arranging our lives around what's most important with some planning, a healthy dose of flexibility and prayer, and a lot of grace. I'd love to continue to share your great insights so keep them coming!

Twinsight 12 of 50: Follow Daily Routines to Stay Grounded

I'm not alone. Life moves crazy fast for many of you, too. Thank you for your input about life balance in conversations and emails - not only this past week, but in the course of doing life with many of you. I heard two general themes. The first is that it's important to follow daily routines to stay grounded. The second is that it's critical to arrange life around what's most important. I'll start with the daily routines.

Remember the book, "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People," Stephen Covey's best-known book? Shortly after it came out in 1989, my work team took a class about the habits. Individually and collectively, we learned to weave them into the way we worked and lived. Here are the first 6. Be Proactive. Begin with the End in Mind. Put First Things First. Think Win-Win. Seek First to Understand, then to be Understood. Synergize.

The 7th is Sharpen the Saw which about balancing and renewing your resources, energy and health to create a sustainable long-term effective lifestyle. The analogy comes from the woodcutter who continues to saw and saw and saw without taking the time to sharpen his tool, and he becomes increasingly less productive because of his dull blade. What I heard from many of you is that you'd put this one first because building daily routines into your life is the only way to make the rest of life work. The other interesting thing I found was that having regular routines was not exactly about being balanced. Balance is rather elusive and feels like a defeating goal when we can never arrive.

"I don't look for balance in my life as much as simply keeping grounded so that I can continue to work and function at an optimal level," writes Nick.

Here are some of the daily routines that you said are important for grounding:

• Exercise and Eat Right. We're not talking extreme sports here, people! What's most important, regardless of your age, is to exercise every day (even if it's 10 minutes). And it's important to eat right, which for most of us means finding a healthful pattern that generally works (with treats sprinkled in!) and have the discipline to stick to it.
• Connect with God. Anne says it's very simple for her. She advises: "Pray alone, sitting with your Bible open and a notebook ready to hear from the Lord or just cry out to Him with all you need to say. And run/walk alone outside in the open, fresh air and again, pray, pray, pray...then be silent."
• Deal with Incoming Mail. Between every type of paper and electronic media available these days, many of us find it frustrating to keep on top of all the things we need to read and make decisions about. Louise advises: "Handle your mail/paperwork one time only. Shred it, recycle it, pay the bill/record in checkbook, call, or do whatever - right away each day! This makes it easier to notice mistakes made by those billing you, spot ads in the junk mail that you might use, mark dates on your calendar. I tell my kids that there will be something in their mail about once a month that is wrong and it will cost them if they don't follow up."
• Maintain the House. Ugh...it can totally get away from us when life is crowded. Steve, my husband, is really good about setting certain days to do particular chores - like Wednesdays and Saturdays to do laundry and Saturday to cut the grass. "Having regularly routines makes life less stressful because you feel like you have some semblance of order around the house," he says. "And although it's sometimes easier to just go and do it myself, we've worked hard to involve our kids in the chores because it helps all of us."
• Rest. Rest when you need to and don't feel bad about it. Janet, who actively exercises, stays refreshed spiritually and connects with a wide range of people in her work and personal life, also says, "Take naps with your dog when you feel tired." (I want to do that right now!)
• Reach Out. Many of you said it's important to have regular touch points with people you care about throughout your day and have people who are lifelines. "Talk to someone who can relate to similar stresses," recommends Polly.

I agree with David O. McKay who said, "The greatest battles of life are fought out every day in the silent chambers of one's own soul." There are many joys to be discovered every day, but also battles to be fought - both internally and externally. As we follow healthful daily routines, I believe the joys surface more readily and we're stronger for the battles.

Next week I'll share what we're collectively learning about how to live out what's most important in life. I'd love to continue to hear from you.

Twinsight 11 of 50: Recognize That Life Moves Crazy Fast

Life feels suffocatingly busy right now. How about for you?

Part of the intensity is simply the season of the year combined with my season of life. What's with the month of May anyway? With school-aged kids, it seems that spring activities culminate, grad parties and special events abound, and summer activities already start. So it's non-stop fun, right?

Pile on the fact that there's no such thing as a down minute unless you walk away from civilization and hibernate in the Boundary Waters. Like many families, we have an array of electronic equipment that is ringing, beeping, chirping, scrolling or singing at any given moment. I was thinking back to when I was in high school - no PCs, no cells, no iAnything, no Googling...not even cordless home phones. I make it sound like the Dark Ages. It kind of was from an electronics standpoint. My parents gave me a Smith Corona typewriter for my high school graduation. Unlike my mom's typewriter in our home office, this new one was light enough to carry. (Well, I'm not sure that I could actually carry it, but my dad could.) My dad was quite progressive in having this fancy brick-like device in his car that he used to communicate to others who were working in various potato and wheat fields. "Just like uptown," my mom would say. I was never sure what planet that uptown was on, but it wasn't near my orbit.

When Leah was in pre-school, probably around 1997, I bought my first "car phone"...you know, a phone to have in your car for emergencies. I vividly remember when I had this ah-ha moment in her pre-school parking lot. Hey, I could unplug this thing and put it in my purse when I run into pre-school. Ooooh, cool. I was concerned that my little slip of a phone would get lost in the bottom of my huge mom purse so I made a mental note to keep track of it and not spill iced tea on it.

Fast forward to today. On top of the fact that there's no escaping, the world is simply intense. Some of the intensity is energizing with God actively at work around the world, the rapid pace of innovation, and the connectivity of social networking. Then there's the staggering number of world events just this year - from devastating natural disasters to the death of Bin Laden to celebrities' dark secrets coming into the light. Closer to home, there's pressure in all of our organizations to get results with fewer resources, and health issues that some of our friends are facing. In his book, Margin, Dr. Richard Swenson wrote, "For millenia upon millenia, change was slow, controlled, assessable; now it convulses at warp speed. ... No one in the history of humankind has ever had to live with the number and intensity of stressors we have acting upon us today."

So how do we cope and even thrive? And how do we help coach our children to be prepared for a world that may be even more intense? I read a lot about life balance (does that count?), but it continues to elude me. It sounds very reasonable to work 8 am - 5 pm, put away all electronics at 8 pm, only allow each child to be involved in one activity, have a nice family dinner each night, and feel caught up before I go to bed. Then real life kicks in. I think it's healthy to recognize that life moves crazy fast, and I need to carefully choose my priorities and seek to live a healthy balance that's realistic in today's reality.

What works for you as you seek some semblance of a balanced life? Let me know what works for you and I'll share our collective tips next week.

Twinsight 10 of 50: Find Your Healthful Eating Groove

I'm grateful that my parents lived long, full lives. But in the end, they each died of colon cancer. As you can imagine, I'm on the "early and often" colonoscopy list. Most people start them at 50. I've already had three and I AM counting! Thankfully, they've been perfectly normal, but this family history has motivated me to try to eat as healthfully as I can. None of us is immune to disease, but healthful eating is a proven step in the right direction. Plus, eating right makes me feel so much better and sets a good life pattern for our girls. They have already become good cooks!

The problem for our family, like many others, is that we have good intentions but we're running in many directions and don't have a lot of time to cook - particularly on weeknights. You'll find the likes of mac and cheese in our cabinet and chocolate chip cookie dough in our refrigerator, and we don't buy all organic. But we are intentional about stocking the kitchen with fresh, colorful food and interesting spices. In the last several years, we've been on a mission to figure out a simple formula that works for all four of us most of the time. Here's what we've come up with - having something from each of these groups in each dinner:

• Veggies (V) - about 1/2 the meal.
• Protein (P) - about 1/4 the meal.
• Starch (St) meaning potatoes, rice or pasta - about 1/4 the meal.
• Seasonings (Se) like spices, herbs, a splash of dressing, a sprinkle of cheese.

It's pretty basic, but that's the point. It's a formula we can all remember and everyone has the opportunity to make (or at least give their opinions about) the meal. And when we know dinner's going to be yummy, we don't snack as much. Here are some examples of how the formula plays out:

• American - Tangy Mixed Grill* (P) with Grilled Corn on the Cob (V) and Baked Potatoes (St) with whatever spices we each like (Se). It's what we had tonight!
• Asian - Rice Bowls which is Sushi or Brown Rice (St) topped with Scrambled Eggs (P) and Stir-Fried Veggies (V) and Soy Sauce (Se).
• Mexican - Slow Cooker White Chicken Chili (V&P&Se)** with Whole-Grain Bread (St).
• Italian - Pasta (St) (I push for whole wheat...) with Chunky Spaghetti Sauce (V) and Meatballs (cooked, frozen) (P) and Roasted Veggies (like onions, Brussels sprouts, carrots or squash) (V) sprayed with Olive Oil Spray and sprinkled with Sea Salt (Se).
• Plain Fast - Sandwiches comprised of Great Harvest Sunflower Bread (St) with Shaved Smoked Turkey (P) and Veggies (like romaine, fresh basil, cucumber slices) and Carrots on the side (V) dipped in Fat-Free Western Dressing.

* Tangy Mixed Grill Marinade: Thanks to Mary V. for this new family fav. Put meat in disposable, plastic bag (separate meats if you have more than one...we like chicken, shrimp, steak or salmon). Add 1/4 c. soy sauce, 3 T. honey, 2 T. white vinegar, 2/3 c. olive oil, 1/2 c. chopped onions, 1-1/2 t. garlic power, 1-1/2 t. ground ginger, 1 t. coarsely ground pepper. We always grill extra to freeze and eat later on a salad or in rice bowls.
** White Chicken Chili: Put these ingredients in slow cooker for 8 hours on slow and it's ready when you get home - 1 packet McCormick's White Chicken Chili seasoning, 2 c. cooked Fajita chicken (frozen or fresh), 1 can corn, 1 can diced tomatoes, 1 can Northern (white) beans, and 1 can water.

Our formula doesn't play out every night. Where's that mac and cheese? Cereal anyone? But it's the best method we've found for staying in the groove of healthful eating. I'd love to hear what's working for you.

Twinsight 9 of 50: Celebrate the People Who Love You No Matter What

Today marks a couple of important dates for our family. First, it’s Steve’s and my 28th wedding anniversary. I’d tell you that we were 10 when we got married, but you already know that I’m 50 so I'll let you do the math. We started dating when we met at Concordia College in Moorhead, MN, and got married a couple weeks after graduating. If you’re from the Midwest and whining about how cold it is today, consider that it snowed on our wedding day in Edinburg, North Dakota. So count your blessings. Other than those cold flakes, the day was wonderful because we were confident about our decision and surrounded by people who loved us and have supported us to this day. Most importantly, we had a deep desire to commit our marriage to what God wanted for us individually and together. During our wedding ceremony, we lit a unity candle but kept the individual candles lit, which is symbolic of the way we wanted our marriage to be.

When we first got married, we divided the household chores in half (as equally as possible given the subjective nature of chores) by which ones we either each liked the most or disliked the least. Steve got washing clothes, cleaning the apartment, and taking care of the cars when something went wrong. (I am totally blonde when it comes to cars!) I got cooking, keeping track of the family calendar, organizing stuff, and managing the finances. As we've added more family members, we’ve added lots of responsibilities and have rearranged along the way but have more or less stuck to the half and half approach since we’ve both worked outside the home. One day I was nattering on about how annoying it is to unload dishes from the dishwasher because you’ve already rinsed them and put them in the dishwasher and…ugh! The next morning, Steve unloaded the dishwasher and has continued to do so nearly every morning since that day. Didn't I marry an amazing guy?

Probably the best thing about our marriage is that we trust God and each other through the joys and travails of everyday life. We have similar values and give each other space so it all works pretty well. He also points out when I’m self centered, which I desperately need now and then and am better for it. And most importantly, when life is tough, we stop and pray because we’re miserable at doing life without God’s guidance. He has given us strength, courage and peace in many situations.

The other important event happened 14 years ago today, which happens to be half of our married life. It's Chloe's Arrival Day, the day we brought her home. A week before that day, Steve, Leah and I flew to Seoul, South Korea. We arrived late at night, and the person who was supposed to drive us to the adoption agency was not at the airport. We fanned out all our Korean money to a rather sketchy-looking cab driver, handed him a piece of paper with the address in Korean, and prayed all the way through the flashing signs of the biggest city we’ve ever experienced. We finally arrived at a place that we recognized from a picture…whew! The next morning we rolled out of bed (literally, mattress on the floor) and waited in a room in next building (pictured below). There was Chloe with her foster mom. We peaked under her tiny baseball cap to see our beautiful baby. I only got to hold her for about 30 seconds before Leah wanted to hold HER baby. In the ensuing days, we spent time exploring Seoul. One of the amazing moments was having the opportunity to meet Leah’s foster mother. We learned through a translator that Leah was the only adopted child that she’d ever had the opportunity to see again. At four, Leah intuitively knew the poignancy of the moment and quietly walked over and sat in her lap.

So today, I am counting my blessings—for a husband who could not be better suited for me, and a winsome daughter who captured our hearts 14 years ago. I’m also thankful for a soulful 18-year-old daughter who is grounded in who she is and never ceases to amaze me with her depth of character, and of course, the sweet dog who rounds out our family.

Twinsight 8 of 50: Invest in Others' Lives

I wasn't born in a barn (which is the assumption that I think some people make when I tell them that I was born into a farming family in North Dakota). And even though it's cliche and not even proper English, I was raised by a village of sorts. The village included my parents plus an incredible array of people - particularly moms - who invested in my life. On this Mother's Day, I'd like to tell you about some of the moms in my village.

Other than my own mom, the first mom I remember being involved in my life was my childhood neighbor "Wisses" Wellman. I can hear her now. "Jo-AAAAANNNN Jean! Get in here and help me frost these cupcakes." I'd get a table knife, pull up a chair to stand on so I could reach the counter, and frost away. She had an accent from her Southern roots, which in and of itself seemed rather exotic to me, and was a marvelous baker. When there was something yummy on our kitchen counter, I'd always say, "Who brought this?" At least half the time it was Mrs. Wellman. (At some point, I actually could say Mrs.) She baked my 1st through my 18th birthday cakes. My favorite was a Barbie doll with a cake skirt when I was in 2nd grade. Remember those? In heaven now, she's probably having a blast teaching my mom to bake, and mom is even enjoying it! Mrs. Wellman and her family invested time in me, those small snippets of time that add up to make a significant impact.

And then there are special moms who have included me in their families through the years which is a big deal when you're an only child. My aunt Beverley was oh so tolerant and even enabling of all the crazy things that my cousin Connie and I dreamt up to do...all the slumber parties (not sleepovers in those days), "club" meetings, games and concerts, and trips to big cities like Grand Forks and Fargo. It's funny how as a kid that you assume that the planning, the meals, the clean up, the rides, and the funds somehow just magically happen. Another village member was my cousin JoeAnn. She has four daughters all around my age and they were so gracious in inviting me to their lake home where I learned to water ski. They even included me on a ski trip to Colorado where I first experienced mountain skiing. These two moms, along with their husbands and families, opened their homes so I could experience life with them and I'm so grateful.

From my hometown, there was also Bernice R. and Mary and Lois and Bernice F. and Ina and Betty and Carol and Eunice and Jan and Leona and Louise and Bonita and Lynette and...I could go on and on. And then there's my mother-in-law, Gerry. She is a genuinely delightful person who is always encouraging, positive and deeply caring.

Interestingly enough, I don't recall any particular platitudes or words of wisdom from any of them. It's possible that they shared them with me, but I wasn't paying attention! However, I do remember the way they lived their lives and the way they cared about me, laughed with me, and guided me. And many of them continue to be involved in my life today. Thank you to all the moms who have touched my life.

Twinsight 7 of 50: Read to Enlarge Your World

With eight consecutive years of our girls' college ahead of us and lots of energy for the work I'm doing, retirement is not even remotely close to my radar right now. As I think about the future, though, I do look forward to having more time to read. My love for reading started out of desperation on Sunday afternoons when I was a young girl. I'd tag along on my parents' "check out the crops" drives around the fields. (You've seen one potato field , you've seen them all, right? Nope.) It was a nice Sunday ritual in North Dakota's vastness, but invariably I got bored without any siblings to torture. So I learned to always bring a book with me. When I close my eyes and think about those times now, I can practically smell the rich, black soil, hear my parents in the front seat talking about the moisture content of the soil and the height of the plants, and see the miles and miles of lush crops. Meanwhile, I was sprawled across the back seat of the car (did those cars even come with seat belts?), mentally transported to magical places like Times Square and the Swiss Alps through my books.

Fast forward to today. Although I like working with and seeing all the amazing visual media today, I still love the written word because it forces me to be more imaginative. I'm not a purist, but I do love to read the book before seeing the movie. Most of my day-to-day reading is electronic and related to my work in health engagement, and I do it mainly in 140-character sound bites through experts I follow on Twitter (via Hootsuite), and then dig into the details of the topics I'm most interested in. I get most of my news from NPR when I'm in the car. And even though I honestly don't have time for more data intake than that, I always seem to have a stack of half-read, touch-and-feel printed books going and a few audio ones on my iPod. I reserve many of them through the county library's website so I can skim or listen to them quickly and not invest in books that I may not refer to again. I'm hoping to get going with e-books this summer.

My favorites are well-written, non-fiction stories and books with practical advice. Steve and I have been in a book club with Nancy & Tim, Joyce & Scott, Karen & Jay for nearly 20 years, and I credit this group for keeping me reading outside my normal news and business reading. Here are some of the books that I've enjoyed in recent years:

• The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls (2005). An emotionally-raw, compassionately-written memoir about the author's bizarre childhood starting with her catching on fire while cooking hot dogs at age three and getting even crazier from there. (Thanks, Joyce.)
• Sacred Rhythms by Ruth Haley Barton (2006). A practical guide on how to arrange our lives for what our hearts want most and make courageous decisions that reflect a deep trust in God.
• Heaven is For Real by Todd Burpo and Lynn Vincent (2010). A four-year-old boy's remarkable journey to heaven and back through a near-death experience, including a sketch that he said looks like Jesus. (Thanks, Leah.)
• The Help by Kathryn Stockett (2009). A disturbing, yet liberating, civil rights era story of how prejudice and bigotry played out in daily life with domestic help in the South.
• Expecting Adam by Martha Beck (2000). A true transforming journey of Martha and John, each working toward a Ph.D.at Harvard, who learn that their unborn son has Down syndrome. (Thanks, Joyce, again!)
• True North by Bill George (2007). Insights on how to be an effective leader while staying grounded and without selling your soul. (I liked the audio version because it's George's voice.)
• Cold Tangerines by Shauna Niequist (2010). A refreshingly honest, quick read of short essays by a young woman that "celebrates the extraordinary nature in everyday life." (Thanks, Amy.)
• The Message Remix by Eugene Peterson (2003). A Bible paraphrase in today's vernacular that has been particularly compelling and practical for me in recent years.

Now that I think about it, the beauty of reading a little bit here and there while life is swirling is that you actually have the opportunity to apply insights on the spot. (I'm trying to feel better about rarely reading a book cover to cover!) So it is a good thing that I'm not retiring any time soon.

Any good ones that you'd enjoyed recently?

Twinsight 6 of 50: Let Yourself Feel Deeply

Have you taken the Myers-Briggs personality assessment? If so, do you remember your profile? I'm an ENTJ. I'm pretty balanced on the first two measures - extrovert vs. introvert and intuitive vs. sensing. But I'm extreme on the last two - thinking vs. feeling and judging vs. perceiving. As with each of us, I have a combination of strengths and weaknesses that blend together to draw me in a certain direction at any given moment, for better or worse.

The deficit that trips me up most often is the feeling component. I'm not interested in producing a flood every time something happy or sad comes along, but it would be nice to be more balanced. Actually, for me to feel something deeply, I usually need to think about it for awhile, give myself mental permission, and eventually the feelings come. The good news is that I'm pretty even-keeled so if you need someone to take charge in a crisis, I'm your girl. The bad news is that I don't experience highs and lows to the extent that many do. So if you need someone to express over-the-moon excitement or empathy, I'm not your best bet.

In recent years, however, I've had some experiences that have tenderized my heart. My first deep heart encounter was receiving Leah from the Northwest Airlines "stork" that flew in from Korea to meet us and our amazing group of family members and friends. And then there was the incredible experience of walking into a room in Seoul four years later and peeking under a little baseball cap to meet our Chloe for the first time.

I've also felt life's ups and downs intensely at times - agonizing over a complicated decision, being incredibly proud over a little (but really big) life choice that one of the girls made, feeling off-balanced in a close relationship, seeing a moving video that Steve and his brother, Peter, created, or worrying about the future with all the looming issues. And then there were the tender times of being with my parents in their later years. I have vivid memories of the last moment that I was with each of of them - listening to dad talk from his hospital bed about farming and the economy and wanting to make sure that I fixed Chloe's high chair. And spending my mom's last morning with her in her Presbyterian Homes room along with my friend, Kimberly, and our dog, Pabby, and walking in a silent "procession of honor" with her covered body through the halls lined with all the staff who had cared for her for many years.

My palpable encounters with the living God, though, have surprised me the most and touched me most deeply. On Palm Sunday a few years ago, the four of us worshipped at the Brooklyn Tabernacle in Brooklyn, NY. I was rocked to my core. Steve and I just wept during the whole worship set (about 45 minutes) and could barely sing. It seemed like what heaven will be like - a blend of shapes and sizes and colors of people moving and uniting in praise to God. Ever since that experience, I have found it easier to close my eyes and sense that God is right there with me and the community of people I'm with, including a couple of nights ago at our church's Maundy Thursday service.

So this Easter weekend, we'll all go through the regular motions of life. But I invite you to join me in pushing our natural boundaries in thinking about what this holiday is all about and feeling it deeply, too.

P.S. In the spirit of expanding my feeling and perceiving comfort zones, I'm not going to mention what I'll write about next week since I honestly have no clue!