Twinsight 53: Choose Happiness in the New Year

 

It's January 1. Are you ready for the new year? I'm not sure if I am. Ready or not, here we go!

In the course of thinking and praying about the year ahead, I took a fresh look at Dr. Henry Cloud’s book The Law of Happiness.  As I thought about the treadmill of life that will reset to high speed on Monday, I felt a sense of sadness and remembered that Dr. Cloud has some keen insights.

What factors do you think contribute to our happiness? See if this breakdown surprises you as much as it did me:

1.       Our natural wiring	50%
2.       Things directly under our control	40%
3.       Circumstances	10%

Our natural wiring (genetics and temperament) are about half the reason that our personal happiness level is what it is. Circumstances only account for 10%! The other 40% are things under our control—like our behaviors, thoughts and intentional practices.

I don’t know about you, but it’s easy for me to fall prey to thinking that “if only X” (better this, better that, new this, new that), then I’ll be happy. Research, spiritual wisdom and common sense all confirm that while many new and better inputs in our life have value, none can bring much sustainable happiness.

Why? Dr. Cloud goes on to say that:

·    Circumstantial happiness does not last. There is some sort of “set point” to our level of happiness that we carry around, almost like a thermostat. Our temperature may go up for awhile (e.g., fall in love, get a raise), but research has shown that we come back down to the place we were before.

·    When we pursue things that don’t have the power to make us happy, we ignore the ones that do.

Happy people…

1.   Are Givers. Spending money on others makes us happier than spending money on ourselves, particularly when we give out of faith, empathy and our whole lives (not just material resources), in a structured way (deliberately part of our budget), freely, past our comfort level at times, and as part of a community at times.

2.   Are Not Lazy About Happiness. We are happier when we are active (not passive)  in our pursuit of life like building deep relationships and community, pursuing goals,  and striving for a healthy lifestyle.  We need to be careful to not have only a future mindset  about happiness—“when _______ happens, I will have a life.”

3.   Don’t Wait for “Someday.” Our ability to focus on the moments we are experiencing right now--the joys and pleasures of the present--actually make us happier and less stressed and depressed.

4.   Pursue Goals. Intrinsic ones (ones that come from who we truly are and we choose) are the ones that add meaning. Externally imposed goals are not worth that much.

5.   Fully Engage. Involving ourselves in activities we truly love, and developing skills that will allow us to enjoy those activities, brings happiness. And to experience “flow”--where we really lose ourselves in something we love--we have to get out of our comfort zones and stretch ourselves to challenging levels.

6.   Connect. God has not constructed us to be fueled by accomplishments. He has constructed us to be fueled by love. He made our brains to chemically respond in a positive way to support from one another and respond negatively when we don’t have it.

7.   Don’t Compare Themselves. We need to take ownership for our own lives, our own talents, our own genes, and use what God has give us to the fullest. Then we will be the best and happiest versions of ourselves.

8.  Think Well. Every single day, happy people are thinking thoughts that help them to be happy, and unhappy people do the opposite. It's important to observe our thoughts, avoid all-or-nothing thinking, watch the negative thoughts so they don’t  have power over us, avoid catastrophic thinking, do not overgeneralize from one instance to all, and see both sides.

9.   Are Grateful. Being grateful starts with building the practice of expressing gratitude consistently into our lives. The people we thank will be blessed and feel appreciated, and we will be better off, too.

10. Have Boundaries. Having boundaries means we set limits on what we will and will not allow in our lives. Boundaries not only protect us from evil, but protect the good things we are trying to build.

11. Forgive. The evidence affirms that when we forgive others, we are the biggest beneficiary. It breaks the chain between us and a past, hurtful event.

12. Have a Calling. Having a calling involves knowing who we are, realizing our talents are a gift from God, understanding that what we do is all about the people on the receiving end of what we do, owning the gifts God has given us as individuals, and using our gifts in service to others.

13. Have Faith. Faith in God connects us to ultimate meaning. When we know Him, we understand that all of life has meaning and that we are here for much larger purposes than what happens day to day. We are part of His story and His purposes—which are most likely outside and beyond our own. We also understand that our day-to-day lives mean more than we will ever know.

Wishing you a year of real, authentic happiness. Here we go!

Twinsight 52: Have Yourself an Authentic, Abundant Christmas

The older I get, the more I want my life to be simply authentic. Just be real. Genuine. I also have a deep passion to seek and receive the fullness of what God has for me and those around me. Not in a materialistic way. In a deeply abundant way.

So that’s the lens through which I write this Christmas post. As I think back on 2012, there has been a lot of real life, day-to-day living with our share of ups and downs and laughs and angst. Through it all, has given us incredible blessing through His guidance, provision, courage and opportunities to grow and serve others that we are grateful for. Here's an update on our family.

Pabby: Run * Guard * Cuddle
I’ll start with Pabby since he never gets to be first. He basically lives a charmed life. He’s our eight-year-old Schoodle who has turned into a sweet, middle-aged dog. He still likes to go running (more slowly now…just like me), but also is content to lie around. His favorite spot is sitting guard at the top of our spiral staircase so he can protect our family from any killer squirrels or stray cats who happen to wander by.  At night, he loves to curl up in a ball on the couch or lie near one of us and cuddle. The only real stress he has in his life is when Leah leaves to go back to school which causes him to go on a 24-hour hunger strike in protest.



Our sweet boy, Pab.

Pabby watching as Leah goes back to school.
 

Chloe: Vocalize * Socialize * Connect

Our soon-to-be sweet 16-year-old, Chloe, is a sophomore at Minnetonka High School.  You always know where she is in the house because she is expressing herself in some way nearly every waking minute—singing, talking, humming and the like (usually while texting, of course). She was rather burned out on the violin so she switched to choir and is simply loving it. She had the opportunity to be in MHS’s performance of The Secret Garden this fall and made a great group of new friends. She also continues to have a wonderful small group and community of friends at our church, Westwood, and serves with young kids. And, she had a fun summer job at the Dairy Queen. Did I mention studying? It's not her first love, but somehow she manages to make it all happen!
 

Chloe (bright orange top and shades, toward the right) with friends on a Colorado trip with church.

Chloe and I celebrating Andrea's (our niece's) graduation from Calvin College with her.

Chloe (top row toward the right) with some of her cast mates in The Secret Garden.

Leah: Seek * Study * Cook

Our soon-to-be-20-something, Leah, is a sophomore at Bethel University in St. Paul. She went into college thinking that she would study something health related, but found out that she’s allergic to chemistry. (Aren’t most of us?!) She has been very diligent about finding her sweet spot and has been exploring lots of options. This fall she switched her major to Accounting and Finance and is feeling much more settled and grateful for God’s guidance and the counsel of others. She’s a focused student (and tells us “funny” accounting jokes to which we say, “Could you repeat the punch line?”), and also enjoys working at the campus bookstore. She’s made some dear friends and navigates campus life well. And, she loves the adventure of planning our next family trip and preparing for when she can travel abroad next. During the summer, she had a couple of part-time nanny jobs, enjoyed the lake, served with young kids at church and did a lot of cooking for us which we all appreciated.

Leah with her Bethel roommate, Rachel, when we all went to Phoenix.

Leah with her cousin, Sonia, at her graduation party from Wayzata High School.

Leah with her Bethel friend, Allie.

Leah and Chloe with North Dakota cousins, Jackson and Taylor.

Steve: Create * Serve * Sing

Steve has had the opportunity to do some really interesting video projects this year in his work with Lighthouse Media—both for medical device companies as well as non-profits. His highlight was a major product launch at Medtronic. When he’s not working, he's serving our family in some way. He does the laundry, stays on top of the outdoor work, runs errands, and frequently transports Chloe from point A to point B. He also enjoys family movie night, neighborhood walks and boat cruises as well as singing in the church choir. To bond with the other male in our family, Steve has tried to match Pabby’s hair highlights. They both now have a quite distinguished salt and pepper blend.

Jo: Adjust * Juggle * Pray

As I think back on the year personally, I’m not sure where it went! It started on a deeply sad note with our dear friend, Nancy, dying on the two-year anniversary of my mom’s death. Then the downtown Hewitt/Aon Hewitt office that I’d worked in for 14 years moved into our Aon offices in Bloomington. So the beginning of the year involved a lot of adjustment which was good to process with others. But I've had the opportunity to do some really interesting health engagement work, serve in new ways at our church, and enjoy meaningful conversations and lots of laughs with friends. God has also deepened my desire to simply pray about everything. I was particularly moved by a book called The Circle Maker that I read this year.

During this season, we wish you daily authentic moments that bring lift and joy to your life and the incredible abundance that Jesus ushered in for us on that first Christmas. 

 

 

 

Twinsight 51: Dream Big and Work Your Dream

 

The Twin Cities lost a great health care leader this summer, and we lost a dear friend: Carl Platou. After recently being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, he died at age 88. Carl was a bigger-than-life kind of person who is sorely missed by many.

Steve and I had the privilege of getting to know him and his wife, Sue, in the early 80s—initially when Steve was a health care administration intern in the corporate offices of the Fairview Health System after college. (Carl was the CEO.) Then later Carl and Steve worked together at the University of St. Thomas in the graduate health care management programs.

When we met them, we were a young, newly-married couple living in a one-bedroom garden apartment trying to make our way in the world. I made the big money in the family ($11,000 a year) while Steve was interning and preparing for graduate school. Even though they had literally thousands of friends and many of them in high places, Carl and Sue were so kind and generous to us. Carl took Steve under his wing professionally, as he did for so many, and Carl and Sue included us in their elegant parties, hosted us at their Sanibel  Island, FL, home, showed up at our casual parties, and loved on our girls. We have been unlikely friends.

Carl’s visitation brought back a flood of memories for both Steve and me. Carl was a truly inspiring man. He faced his share of obstacles including parachuting into France on D-day as a demolition expert, and pursuing an ill-fated career in medicine. (He loved to tell of his first pre-med semester during which he earned 3 Ds, an F and an incomplete.) But he dreamed big and worked those dreams to make them come to fruition—particularly at Fairview and the University of Minnesota. Here are some of the qualities that we and others observed in him that made him a high-impact person:

• Positive...always looking for the best in people and circumstances.
• Equanimous...having uncanny emotional stability and calmness under challenging circumstances (a word used in his obituary that I had to look up, and once I did, I agree it's spot on).
• Visionary...continually focused on the future and what could be.
• Warm...making everyone who had the opportunity to get to know him feel that he knew them up close and personal. Because he did.
• Classy...always doing life with a flair, which involved paying attention to the little details in the midst of always having big jobs to do.
• Organized...being a faithful member of the clean desk club and joking that it was the sign of a empty brain.
• Light-hearted...having an endless supply of humorous stories which he told at just the right moment with a twinkle in his eye.
• Determined...removing or circumventing interpersonal roadblocks getting in the way of progress with grace and finesse. 
• Legendary...making a mark by living out his dreams in the face of real life.

We are grateful for his influence in our lives.

Twinsight 50 of 50: Don't Let Any Day Escape as Ordinary

Thanks to Steve, Leah and Chloe for providing me lots of material and ideas for 50 Twinsights!

For my 50th birthday (3.20.11), Steve asked me what I wanted to do on that Sunday. Life had been so hectic that I selfishly wanted some time to myself and with our family to enjoy church, go running, do some writing, go for a walk on the Dakota Trail, and have dinner at home. It was a wonderful day.

I had a few ah-has that day. First, I had breezed through 40, but 50 seemed crazy old. I can relate to Ashleigh Brilliant who wrote, “Inside every older person there’s a younger person wondering what happened.” On a related note, I also realized that I didn’t know how to be 50. It seems that a lot has been written about the transition to 40, but not nearly as much on the transition to 50. Sometimes you think about the future and envision what life might be like in the next season. I had not spent one second thinking about my 50s. 

That's the ah-ha that led me to the idea that maybe I could blog about what it means to be 50 so I could process my observations while learning more about the medium of blogging to help me in my professional life. And then I could invite others to join me so I wouldn't be alone as I was kicking and screaming into this decade! That's how 50 Twinsights came to be.

In some ways, the last 50 weeks have been steady: same husband, same kids, same dog, same house, same job, same daily patterns. On the other hand, these weeks have included some significant experiences: one daughter went off to college and another daughter entered high school, a lot of day-to-day changes with a company merger, the loss of a dear friend, serving on a vision 2020 task force at our church, and balancing a full life...some days better than others.

What have I learned? I've gained clarity around how important it is to stretch ourselves as we get older...to make a conscious effort to continue to push ourselves out of our comfort zones so our brains and bodies don't atrophy. Those of you who know me well know that I'm a planner which is a blessing and a curse, right? The unnerving thing about this little experiment was that it was all pretty spontaneous. I never had more than one or two ideas for future posts. I woke up several Saturday mornings without even so much as a germ of an idea. But eventually I'd get a thread of a beginning. Madeleine L'Engle, an American writer, said that, “Inspiration usually comes during work, rather than before it." So true. In turn, I'm finding that once I take a courageous step in one area of my life, I feel more empowered to leapfrog forward in other areas of my life - like to confidently guide our girls without being controlling, create a compelling offer for a client, or contribute to an effort that will make others' lives better.

These 50 weeks also impressed upon me that God has put me on earth to be present in my every day life. Some mornings I get out of bed and think that’s it’s going to be an ordinary, ho-hum day in the grind of life with a never-ending to-do list. But I have a fresh resolve to not live with that perspective. And I want to dedicate this 50th post to three women who have been particularly inspiring to me this year in my quest to make every day count.

My first cousin by marriage, Jean Swenson, who continues to live with such
profound faith and purpose despite tremendous physical constraints as a quadriplegic.

My 102-year-old aunt, Christine Hall (pictured with cousin Connie and me), who continues
to live each day so gracefully and is a treasure to everyone who has ever known her.

Our dear friend, Nancy, who died just after turning 51 (in pink, on the far right, with Joyce, me and Karen),
who reminds me to not let any day escape as ordinary because she lived with gusto.

I may still post now and then. In the meantime, thank you for coming alongside me at some point in the past 50 weeks. I want to encourage you to join me in trusting God's promise that He will be there in the moment-to-moment victories and challenges of every day so we can live each day - and each year - that He gives us in extraordinary ways.

Twinsight 49 of 50: Laugh at Yourself

The Scream by Edvard Munch

Dear Male Coworker,

When am I due, you ask? Oh, I’m not pregnant.

Sincerely, Your Most Embarrassing Moment

 

Is that not the classic embarrassing moment or what…one that doesn’t elude men or women. But that’s only the start! Thanks to everyone who responded to my request for your most embarrassing moments. Collectively, we’ve done, said and exposed a lot of interesting stuff. Enjoy.

What We Do

• On my first day of my first job out of college, I was trying to be a grown up and drink coffee. So I picked up the coffee carafe—you know, the kind you unscrew an undetermined number of rotations until the coffee comes out. Well, I had never operated one and unscrewed it too far and the entire pot spilled all over my lap and legs in a meeting with our whole work team (boss, boss’s boss, yeah...pretty much everyone). Embarrassing, and super hot... ouch! And I never have learned to like coffee. Maybe I’m subconsciouly afraid of the carafes. (Me)
• I made a wrong turn into busy traffic on a one-way street in downtown St. Paul. I’ve done it before, so I know that the worst shame would end as soon as I got my car turned around and drove away from the witnesses.
• I was at a restaurant with a friend and our young kids. I probably already had too many kids and she had three. I went to the restroom. I helped two of our little boys go potty, washed their hands, used the toilet myself, washed my hands, and brought everyone out to join the group. It wasn’t until I walked through the entire dining room and to our table far in the back that I realized my friend was laughing at me. She had looked up and watched as I walked along. Coming out of my jeans was a very long piece of toilet paper that trailed behind me like a bride's train. At the table, I tried to gather it up, smile and move on. My friend would have none of it. With her very loud, distinct roller coaster laugh, she laughed so long and so loudly that I eventually had to sit still and wait for her to stop. 
• New to my teaching career, one day I wore one navy shoe and one black shoe to school for the day. And (from another person), I brought a two left shoes on a business trip. I forced my right foot into one of my left shoes and it wasn’t too bad until I crossed my foot over my leg in my meeting and the toe was pointing in the wrong direction. Hint: Do not get dressed or pack in the dark.
• I was walking up for communion at church one day and a kind friend mentioned that I had a dryer softener sheet stuck to the back of my black pants…yup, right on my behind.
• One day I walked around Target with the back of my skirt fully tucked into the back of my underwear.
• As a 7th grader, I thought it would be a good idea to offer to be one of the people to be auctioned off as a servant for a day (at a Homecoming pep fest) for an upper classman. I went to the center of stage with the auctioneer and NO ONE, and I mean NO ONE, would bid on me. 
• I played clarinet in the University of Minnesota alumni band for many years. One day I arrived about 10 minutes late for rehearsal. There were about 15-20 clarinetists seated in place with only two seats remaining – the first chair and the last. I thought I was pretty good so I sat down in the first chair. At the end of the next song, the conductor asked if I would mind exchanging places with the last chair player who had arrived after I did. It turned out to be the principal clarinetist of the Minnesota Orchestra. 
• I worked at a clinic, and periodically would walk across downtown to the post office to drop off mail. One day I accidentally tripped and fell at a slushy intersection—in my white uniform—and was completely covered in mud. Thankfully a number of people felt sorry for me and helped me up.  But I was such a mess that I had to go home and change.
• I accidentally fell asleep while listening to a work conference call that involved several hundred people in my group, and started snoring so loudly that the speaker (a senior leader) had to ask the person who was snoring to go on mute. Of course, I didn’t hear his request and just kept snoring.
• When my husband and I were first married, I went to his office to have lunch with him. He walked me to the parking ramp to say goodbye. As I was driving out of the parking ramp, lovingly gazing at him and waving goodbye,  I ran the car into a post.

What We Say

• One night my husband and I were driving with another couple to an event and they were in the front seat and we were in the back seat. My husband had been working on our hill that afternoon and had fallen and gotten a huge bruise on his leg right above his knee. From the pitch black of the back seat, he quietly said, “Feel this right here…it’s SO hard.” The other couple quickly turned to see what was going on back there! (Me)
• I was at my girlfriend's house for Thanksgiving, and I was trying to impress her family so I commented on how good the apple pie was and said the crust was particularly good. Upon hearing that comment, everyone at the table broke out in laughter because they all knew that grandma had made the pie, but she bought the crust!
• In sixth grade, when called on to answer a question about who worked the land for the kings, I proudly answered "pheasants." And only after everyone burst out laughing, did I realize my mistake.
• My son had a  beautiful girlfriend…you know the kind that is very pretty, always perfectly coiffed, great clothes, very feminine, claimed she could not physically burp....you get the idea. She and our son were sitting at the dining room table one night when my husband got home from work. He didn’t know she was there and as he ran into the house he said, “Nobody move! I've gotta poop!" and then ran to the bathroom. Our daughter followed him to bathroom and with sheer horror, informed him that the girlfriend was in the dining room.
• We were with a group of my husband’s long-time friends, and I was just getting to know them. One of the women announced that she had been diagnosed with MS. I thought she said PMS, and went on to tell her that it's not a big deal...I get that all the time.

What We Expose

• When I was in sixth grade, there was about one month in the history of the universe during which some clothing manufacturer decided to make swimsuits out of terry cloth. And I was one of the suckers who bought one. The first time I wore it, I went to our local pool when the pool was at capacity with kids and jumped off the high dive. The suit soaked up water and tripled its size, and with no curves to keep it on, the top came off over my head and the bottoms off the ends of my toes. I tried to grab them, but they floated down. I had to come to the surface to get more air and heard the next guy on the board screaming at me to get out of the way. But I ignored him and dove down and somehow managed to rescue both pieces that were on the bottom of the pool. (Me) 
• In my college freshman Psych 101 big lecture, one day we had a visiting professor. He came out on the platform and stood in front of the podium with his hands in his pockets to introduce himself. A quiet giggle soon turned into a lecture hall full of students pointing and laughing. What he didn’t realize was that his fly was wide open. Maybe there’s something Freudian about the fact that that is the only recollection I have of Pscyh. (Me again)
• I was at a summer gathering and a bee went right down my shirt. I was sitting next to a guy, and tried to be discrete as I attempted to shoo the bee out of my shirt, and then ended up walking out in the yard and shaking out my shirt to try to get the bee out. I still got stung.
• My friend and I were talking to a boy and my blouse button popped open, exposing my (insert scream) b-r-a, and my friend didn't notice until he left.     
• While tending bar, I caught my pants pocket on a refrigerator corner and had a partially exposed cheek. What's worse is that I did the same thing the next night.
• I guy I knew had a long hair on his face and when I pulled, I realized it was attached - to the top of his nose.
• One night I was walking back to to the courtyard that my college dormroom faced. I heard some girls giggling in the direction of my room. To my horror, I looked up and saw my roommate lying on his bed in his underwear. I went back and gave him the science lesson that even though it's dark when you look out the window, your image in a brightly lit room is as clear as day to anyone looking in.
• Our family went to the Wisconsin Dells for a family vacation. We stayed at a cabin that allowed us to use an indoor waterpark nearby. After a quick bathroom stop, our four kids loaded me down with all their towels and clothing and took off for the water. As I entered the waterpark area, I scanned the building to find the perfect table to set up our stuff. As I was unloading my arms, I was also scoping out the place and was somewhat distracted. I did not realize that I had laid everything down, including the swimsuit top I had been wearing! I'm sure I was only exposed for three seconds when I realized what I had done and quickly put it back on. I looked around to make sure none of my family had seen me nor anyone else at the waterpark. Seemed like I was safe. To gather my wits, I went and sat in the hot tub by myself. Not five  minutes later, an older man came up and handed me a folded up dollar bill and said, "You do one hell of a Janet Jackson!" Uffda.

I guess the moral of the story is that no one is immune from embarrassing moments, so we just need to laugh at ourselves. When I asked Chloe for a story, she said, “I do some stupid stuff, but it doesn’t really bother me.” There you go.

Next week: Twinsight #50!

 

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Twinsight 48 of 50: Make a New Friend

Chloe, Steve, Dandan, me, Leah

Today we said farewell to our dear friend, Dandan. She is finishing her graduate studies at the University of Minnesota in a special chemistry/physics program, and is going back to Jilin University to complete her PhD. Her graduate work here has primarily been doing experiments to try to create a faster superconductor. You now know the full extent of my understanding of her work!

We met her about a year and a half ago after hearing about an opportunity though our church to be a welcome family for a Chinese student via the Chinese Hospitality Center. For the month before she came, we exchanged emails and photos so we'd recognize each other at the airport. On the day she arrived, I pulled up to the agreed-upon baggage claim door and immediately recognized her standing alone with her suitcase and backpack that contained all the possessions she brought for her entire stay.

I quickly learned three things about her. 1) This was her first time outside of China. 2) She had learned English in school, but this experience was going to be her first real chance to use it. 3) She had a kind, sweet, curious spirit about her. I knew it would be a fun adventure helping her get settled.

And it was an adventure! All in one long weekend, we had to find her an apartment, a roommate, basic furniture (especially a mattress), a cell phone, and food for the week. As we sat at our kitchen island with her laptop staring at the U of M apartment website (all in Mandarin), I had the sinking feeling that it was going to be impossible to get all of this accomplished. Where do we start? I prayed for wisdom and a few practical miracles to come our way. What ensued in the next few days was pretty miraculous. We just drove over the U and went to the first apartment on the list, happened to meet another Chinese student who also needed an apartment (and spoke impeccable English and had superb negotiating skills), secured the apartment, got to the mattress store five minutes before it closed and got a great deal, and found a group of other Chinese students who helped us figure out the best cell phone deal with a Target employee who has never had to answer so many questions in her life.

Over the past year and a half, we've shared a wide range of experiences together and have talked about everything under the sun from God to physics to traditions and families. She and one of her roommates even made us a delicious Chinese dinner that involved lots of chopping! These photos capture some of our memories.

Chloe, Dandan and Leah at Punch Pizza

Dandan and Chloe at our house

All of us at Yum Bakery

Dandan and Leah at Big Bowl

Dandan, Sonia, Andrea, Christian, Chloe, Leah and Autumn on Thanksgiving 2010

All of at the Holidazzle 2010

We don't have a photo of my most memorable experience that involved Dandan. The fall after she came, we volunteered to have a group of Chinese students and their host families over for dinner and boating. We expected 30. Just to be safe, I prepared barbecued pork sandwiches and baked potatoes for 60. As we quickly figured out, these students have a tight-knit community and probably each invited a few extra people. As we result, we had more than 100 people here! (Now you understand why we didn't have a moment to snap a photo!) We completely ran out of every scrap of food, but Leah had the brilliant idea to order Dominos. We ordered 8 larges and every slice was gone in 10 minutes. But everyone got a boat ride, a little food and the chance to hear about God's love. It was our craziest party ever, but we will never forget it.

More importantly, we will never forget our friend, Dandan. We hope we'll be able to make a trip to China and see her again. But for now, we rejoice for the journey she is on and for the joy and growth she brought to our lives.

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Twinsight 47 of 50: Experience the World

Cindy & Larry in Iguassu Falls, Brazil

Do you have a desire to see more of the world? Some days I'm completely satisfied to live our cozy little suburban life and have a business trip here and there that gets me out and about in the U.S. Other days, something piques my interest in experiencing life in parts of the world I have yet to see—visiting my great grandparents’ birthplaces in Iceland/Sweden/Norway, eating my way through Tuscany, worshipping with thousands of other Christians in Africa, taking in all the sights and smells of Beijing, skiing in the Alps, helping with a building project in Guatemala, walking where Jesus walked, running the beaches of Bora Bora, and the like. There’s a lot of world to see.

It feels challenging to fit travel into daily life right now—hard to find time to do the research, hard to justify the expense when we’re at the beginning of eight years of college expenses, hard to take a chunk of time off from work, and on and on.  I think there is a way, though, to have a travel mindset and be poised to take advantage of opportunities and good deals as they arise. But how do you live that out?

One couple who has done an amazing job of integrating adventurous travel into their lives is Cindy and Larry Pontinen. They grew up in Minnesota, and Cindy was Steve’s favorite babysitter when he was growing up. After they graduated from college, they got teaching jobs in an LA suburb and have been there ever since. They also owned a condo on Maui, and we’ve had the opportunity to stay with them in both places. They are a wonderful host and hostess! They each had long, impactful teaching careers, and are now retired. They have a passion for travel and have found a way to always be on a trip or planning the next one. I wanted to learn more about how they make that work so I asked Cindy the following questions, and thought you might be interested in her answers, too.

What got you interested in traveling?

For me, my mother was my inspiration. She always had a desire to see the world.  She always knew that when the last one left home (me), she would be able to afford to travel outside the U.S. and Canada.  For Larry, his desire to see the world came from his love of history.  He had always been an avid reader, and for him to be able to actually see many of the places he had read about was like a dream come true.  Because of our different perspectives, we also differ on our focus during our travels.  His is always to the historical and mine is primarily to the culture.  I am so interested in how people live. I think that interest comes from my mother's influence because she was such a people person.  Larry and I both love landscape and that must stem from our Minnesota roots.

The street coming to life one morning in Esna on the Nile River

What are your favorite places on earth?

Well, for the "ordinary," we would both have to say France.  We love France for its diversity.  Probably highest on our list for a place that is just fascinating, is so full of history, and has a culture that is so different from a western country is Egypt.  We both still remark that our recent trip to Egypt was by far the most educational trip we have taken.  We could repeat our itinerary because there’s just so much to learn about that country.

In Cairo

Do you travel on your own or with groups?
For many years, we gravitated to Europe and did all of our own planning, and we always rented a car to give us flexibility. That type of travel is really for people who are not worried about navigating a foreign country. We typically tried to cover areas we had not seen before, but we almost always ended our trips with a stay in Paris.

Now we have moved toward traveling with an organized tour because we are going to places that are not as well developed plus we are older! We talk with people to find out what their experiences have been with various tour companies, and then research to find out what itineraries the company has for the area we want to tour. We've preferred to travel with Overseas Adventure Travel because its groups are never larger than 16 people, and we feel we get the most value for our money. If at all possible, when planning a trip with an organized tour company, try to go into the start city several days earlier than the actual start of the tour. By going in early, you give yourself time to recover from the long flight and have time to see more of the city.

In Cuzco, Peru

Who are some of the friends you've made along the way?
Making friends while traveling started a long time ago when we returned from a trip to Germany in 1977. We connected with a young family from Germany, and through them, with another young family from France. We have all remained very good friends. We made another wonderful connection when we took our first organized tour in 2005. We met three couples from North Carolina and one from Arizona. We are now all friends and have all visited one another and traveled together numerous times since then. It is wonderful.

What's your number #1 tip for people who are interested in traveling more?
One of the most important factors to remember is that you must be flexible. As a couple, I see us always balancing each other in the hopes that both of us do not have a bad day on the same day!

An orphan from a small village school in Swaziland

Where are you going next?
We're always planning the next trip. We both hope that we will always be able to have a new and exciting destination on the horizon. That destination may very well be right here in North America, but it is always an anticipated adventure.

Thanks, Cindy and Larry! You inspire me and my family to expand our horizons and experience more of the world, and I appreciate your willingness to let me share your experiences and insights with others.

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Twinsight 46 of 50: Eat Your Way Across the Twin Cities

What's your favorite Twin Cities restaurant? We're no NYC, but for a Midwestern, smallish U.S. city, I think we have a nice variety of restaurants. Here's a list of some of my favorites along with favorites of friends who responded to a question I asked on Facebook. I love places with fresh, flavorful, healthful food and a nice ambiance for having a good conversation so you'll probably detect that bent in this list.

New Favorites

• Spoonriver - Downtown Minneapolis next to the Guthrie. Wonderful new restaurant I went to yesterday for the first time. Owned by Brenda Langton. (Remember Cafe Brenda?) Gourmet, contemporary, natural food that was presented so beautifully that I had to take it all in for several minutes before I started eating.
• Rosa Mexicano - Downtown Minneapolis. Fresh contemporary Mexican. Must try the fresh guac that they make at your table.

 Great Food, Great Ambiance

• Blvd Kitchen - Minnetonka. "Urban loft meets European farmhouse." Heidi's favorite.
• Biella - Excelsior. Quaint spot for an intimate dinner. 
• Broders - Minneapolis. Authentic Italian. Lisa's favorite.
• Cafe Latte - St. Paul. Come for the salads, stay for the desserts.
• Egg and I - St. Paul & Minneapolis. Classic breakfast spot. Lucinda's favorite.
• Haute Dish - Minneapolis. Creative twist on the basics. Lisa's favorite.
• Lucias - Uptown Minneapolis. Creative menu that changes weekly. Jane's favorite.
• Meritage - Downtown St. Paul. French cooking with local ingredients. Rebecca's favorite.
• Oceanaire - Downtown Minneapolis. Even more appetizing if someone else is picking up the tab. Both Joel's and Phil's favorite.
• Sample Room - Minneapolis. Wide range of plates you can share. Rebecca's favorite.
• Solera - Downtown Minneapolis. Great array of Spanish tapas. Rebecca's favorite.
• Travail Kitchen - Robbinsdale. DeLonn said that it's a fabulous place for a special night out. 

Favorite Standbys

• Big Bowl - Minnetonka, Edina, Roseville. Just good fresh Asian.
• Chipotle - All over. Steve's favorite, and our family's choice spot after church.
• Good Day Cafe - Golden Valley. Great breakfast food at any time. Worth it just for the popovers and pistachio butter.
• Good Earth - Edina and Roseville. My all-around favorite place to eat, other than at home.
• Lord Fletchers - Spring Park. Best summer lake hang out.
• Punch Pizza - All over. Our family's favorite pizza spot.
• Starbucks, Caribou and Dunn Bros - All over. Love all the Chai tea places we have. (I hear some people go there for coffee.)
• Zelo - Downtown Minneapolis. Always good business lunch spot.
• Yum - Uptown Minneapolis. Fun atmosphere and exceptional desserts.

Bon appetit!